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Juno sucks

2008-04-13 21:30:23 by HAcoreRD

Personally, I almost never ever think a movie is absolute shit.

Starship Troopers I thought was brilliant, Event Horizon was a even more greater thriller, fuck I even liked the Wing Commander movie to list a few "Flops", as for comedies, shit I don't think I never laughed at a comedy, even a shitty one, since... "Dude, where's my car?"

Then comes Juno, possibly the biggest piece of shit "comedy" mixed with poor acting, and bad dialogue, and knowing the idiots this country's full of, it'll sell harder and faster than "Alvin and the Chipmunks".

In honesty, I saw this in theater after seeing that the Superbad guy was in it. I mean, why not, even if he was the pussy character. Then I was subject to cruel torture of horrible dialogue, clearly trying to impact pop culture.

I'm not going to discuss the plot, just the dumb humor levels, that might indicate that majority of the movie goers are on some drugs, and I'd like to know where I can get some. I recall the biggest "pops" of laughs was from the infamous "You should grow a mustache." - "I can't."

I remember to this day the crowd laughing like they heard something funny, and the urge to get up and walk out of the theater shot through my brain faster than a bullet through JFK's skull.

Now, the dumb ass shit dialogue. "He's the cheese to my macaroni." What the fuck kind of analogy is that supposed to be? That you both go hand in hand together? If so, bravo, you explained it poorly and ended up pissing me off from the stupidity levels I had to endure.

So now this shit of a movie comes out this Tuesday. Great, I can't wait for the commercials bragging "Best selling DVD" and the sequel "Jewknow" that'll be out in the future. Sad that the other Superbad kid is working in flops, but I guess it's all about pleasing the soccer mom viewers and their children who are to grow up completely oblivious to the world around them.

Concluding, and summarizing: Juno sucks!


Comments

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UberBearUberBear

2008-04-13 21:33:34

LOL


FlattheadFlatthead

2008-04-13 21:37:24

Wow JUNO was the best movie! It made me LMFAO! The humor was brilliant! Like when shes like "That condom makes my boyfriends junk taste like blackberry pie!" Its not just the humor its the way they say it because the acting was great and I loved the music and the story line. It was simple and I loved it! and it seems to me that your more like a star wars guy and I never even heard of the movies that you posted up there. LMAO the Line "Your eggo is preggo!" Cracked me the FUCk UP!


TheMillzTheMillz

2008-04-13 21:41:05

Yea dude, I got dragged to that thing with this chick when it was in the theaters. Here I am expecting to round the ol' bases in public ( don't knock it 'till you tried it ) and the bitch gets sucked into watching the damn thing! So there I am, time's passing like I'm being shot at in the matrix, and on top of not getting much that night I had to deal with the audience of puppets, laughing when their masters pulled the string.

Super gay. Juno sucks. Right on man.


XxdeathpriestxXXxdeathpriestxX

2008-04-13 21:57:10

thanks for enlightening me I was sortof thinking of watching it, but you saved from a pit of doom, at first i thought your review was just an immature 14 yr old but now after watching a sneak peek 5 minutes, I see that the review was real. thank you, nice jewknow joke lol


TechFlashTechFlash

2008-04-13 22:19:19

I thought it was a good movie. A little different from what I've seen before, but nonetheless a good movie.


nollennollen

2008-04-13 22:24:14

You are the minority. If you are saying that Juno sucks and its jokes are not funny, then why did it get the Oscar for best screenplay.

I know it wasn't the best movie ever, but it wasn't terrible. I don't recall the phrase,"Hes the cheese to my macroni," ever being in the movie. You did not put any detail on why the jokes were not funny. Actually it looks like you didn't see the movie at all! All you said was a dumb-ass reference to JFK getting shot.

There were funny jokes. For instance, when the adopting mother said how hard it was to adopt, and Juno said, "they pretty much put babies in those t-shirt guns, and shoot them out at sporting events."
So, actually watch the movie before hating it.

Concluding and summarizing: You suck!

HAcoreRD responds:

your sister.


thethethemanthethetheman

2008-04-13 23:09:19

Well now, i haven't seen the movie yet (my opinion might turn out to be the same as yours), but you called the movie a piece of shit, and gave about 2 examples of why. Bad review.

HAcoreRD responds:

this was more of a rant than a review, as a review would've left a positive insight to balance it out.


AnimaLansAnimaLans

2008-04-13 23:40:21

Never seen it. But, really, your reviewing skills are awful. But, whatever. opinions are opinions.

HAcoreRD responds:

read above, then ingest rat poison.


pickleman77pickleman77

2008-04-13 23:57:17

sorry. i can't quite understand you. i'm on my hamburger phone.

HAcoreRD responds:

Careful, that's no hamburger!


HTID-DreizehnHTID-Dreizehn

2008-04-14 00:18:38

Didn't see Juno, and not gonna see it. Cause I think it sucks. Saw the previews, don't care.

And yes, I'm saying it sucks before I even bother to watch it because I'm that guy who's not afraid to admit that I've seen previews and thought in such a manner. To backtrack to the most recent thought I've had when performing this action, "Hey, this movie looks like shit. I'm not gonna see it because I think it sucks already."

In short, much agreed with your thoughts.


SentiSenti

2008-04-14 00:46:22

You bring up some valid points, most of which I disagree with, but that doesn't make them any less valid. I happen to really enjoy the movie. My biggest problem with it was the overuse and "trying to hard" ways to make Juno seems all hip with her cool lingo's. I felt like that was overused slightly. Besides that, she was an adorable girl with a heartfelt story. I really enjoyed myself throughout the entirety of the film.

You are entitled to your opinion though.


TaerethTaereth

2008-04-14 00:54:24

Well, I'm not going to bash you for not liking the movie and then insult you in some infantile, asenine way, but I think you kind of missed the point of the humor.

"Then I was subject to cruel torture of horrible dialogue, clearly trying to impact pop culture." Well, actually I think the point was to make the dialogue the antithesis of pop culture, making the characters out to just be a bunch of huge losers TRYING to be cool, and utterly failing, thus humor. In effect, each individual line was deliberately bad writing, taken by itself, but it was the level at which each line played off the previous one that made it well written DIALOGUE.

As for bad acting, I don't think that's right at all. Acting is just adhering to the director's vision of the script (which, hopefully, adheres to the author's), which I think the actors did flawlessly. Bad acting, on the other hand, is when each actor brings a radically different mood to the movie, and they all just end up clashing with each other and failing to create a harmonic tone for the movie. The brilliance of the acting in Juno was that all of the actors presented dramatically different characters while making them all mesh together.

Personally I didn't really go for the story, either. But it was refreshing to see some really good acting and witty dialogue amongst all the crap the "superstars" assail us with daily. But hey, not like you have to like it. And I'm with you on Event Horizon.


Xendarc91Xendarc91

2008-04-14 02:31:05

Oh thank god!! I dont think i could take one more "Best movie EVA!!!" from anyone... and if I did I'd probably throw up on them... I havn't seen it but it gets to a point where you hear so much about it (especially if it doesnt even look that good to start with) that you want to die every time some one mentions it. every one who I talked to about it was trying to convince me it was so great... but no matter how much they try to make it sound good it sounds even worse.
It's like having your parents tell you over and over "DrUgs R BaD 4 YoO" (god I hate that) and it just makes you want to do drugs just so that they shut the fuck up.
It just looks so bad on the adds I feel empty and dead inside when I see it (and that doesnt happen often.)
and for all you people saying "Oh Ur soooo lame! U hvnt evn seen it yet! Its sooo coool and funnny!!!" Dont bother trying... you'll just make the Hate bigger...

Concluding, and summarizing: I hate Juno


Xendarc91Xendarc91

2008-04-14 02:35:37

sorry... really had to get that out...


BluemidgetguyBluemidgetguy

2008-04-14 03:33:10

Juno was okay. It tried to be too indy though


MerutoMeruto

2008-04-14 03:55:56

I wouldn't exactly call an Academy Award winning movie with a worldwide gross of 200.000.000$ a flop. And about the "He's the cheese to my macaroni." I agree that line is the shit but come on, she's just 16 for God's sake.
Anyway I think your mistake was thinking it would be like Superbad after seeing Michael Cera and not considering the fact that Academy would never give an Oscar to Superbad -which was awesome, McLovin ftw- type films. And If you say Starship Troopers was brilliant, you shouldn't be going to movies like Juno in the first place.


plopalyplopaly

2008-04-14 04:19:15

I couldn't even watch the trailer. I closed my eyes.


fatalflawlessfatalflawless

2008-04-14 05:16:25

dude, i totally agree with you


lenkalamarilenkalamari

2008-04-14 05:19:00

It was alright. one of those examples of a movie getting so much hype that people either go in and try to convince themselves its absolute brilliance, OR try and find absolutely everything wrong with it in an attempt to denounce said hype.

the writing was nice, i was expecting more actual comedy though. 40 Year Old Virgin was a much better hyped up comedy movie


eddsworldeddsworld

2008-04-14 07:47:58

Its slightly better than Alvin and the Chipmunks.


MixonMixon

2008-04-14 09:33:10

By the way: Don't watch The Mist. Oh God, don't watch it. It sucks fat cock.


HolyIntestineHolyIntestine

2008-04-14 10:04:09

It looks like one of those movies that always wins awards because it's 'heartwarming' and 'funny' but they never are. They win because people like to think they are clever by watching a movie about 'someone in a real situation' who just happens to have a stupid name and an awful sense of humour.

They are pathetic attempts at trying to be artsy, funny and dramatic all at once and failing miserably. Why the hell do the main characters in these type of films have weird names? Why not call it Jill? Because they have to try and be alternative and crap. There is a movie called 'Poppy Shakespeare' that's going to be on TV that looks identical in everyway, including the annoying name!

[/rant]


HaloBenishHaloBenish

2008-04-14 10:15:14

Juno is an extremely overrated picture that was more of an average film then anything else, but to say the acting was poor is just screaming "I'm a fucking moron!"


teserutteserut

2008-04-14 10:37:02

juno isnt comedy retard

HAcoreRD responds:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juno _%28film%29

"Juno is a 2007 comedy-drama film directed by Jason Reitman and written by Diablo Cody. Ellen Page stars as the title character, a sharp-tongued teenager confronting an unplanned pregnancy. Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, and Jason Bateman also star."

Shut the fuck up you sterile cunt.


JonBroJonBro

2008-04-14 11:29:27

Juno kinda looks interesting.

...Sorta.

I'm sure South Park is a billion times better though.


DazmiDazmi

2008-04-14 14:16:45

It depends on what type of movies you like.
You like thrillers, and cool stuff
Not a pregnant teen that's named after an asteroid.


fighter345fighter345

2008-04-22 21:24:52

hey the movie DUDE WHERE IS MY CAR! is funny

HAcoreRD responds:

only if you're on some form of drugs.


Unkle-KrakerzUnkle-Krakerz

2008-06-20 20:31:47

Thank You for Smoking sucks

Dan in Real Life is shit

And Epic Movie was the poorest-ass piece of fucking gay-ass non-funny shitty shit to ever come on this planet.